On a quest to understand intimacy, I rediscovered fire. No words, just fire. Like the one that gives birth to stars and new moons; like the one that makes astral bodies rapturously spin around each other for an -undefined- period of time. This alluring, ecstatic dance that electrifies the bodies and stops my breath.
I tap into every raw feeling that guides me to the primal creation -reds and blues- to recreate the magnificence of primordial Eros. I pursue it – blindly, not being afraid to encounter the darkness, as I now acknowledge that this is part of intimacy’s very own game; that my conscious isolation was an unconscious longing for it. I let it burn – deliberately, not being afraid to lose myself in this eerie bosom. I can easily afford to break my heart, as I long for a greater one; one that generates impassioned anthems and attracts the real lovers of this world.
I lustfully immolate my heart just to fuel the fire. Paradoxically, there’s nothing new in this encounter, but my alchemical reaction to it. I know this burn since the beginning of time; always fearlessly commanded; always seductively shaped. The only affirmation is the present moment. A smell, a laugh, the heat that reach eternity. Tangled palms that hold the heavens; enchanted exhalations that burst into hymns.
Countless times I wondered if intimacy is a region of Utopia; if I am looking for things that can never be found in this realm. I came to realize that this kind of intimacy is one out of countless permutations - just the hardest and scarcest one. Thorny roads are abandoned by the weak and rare things aren’t revealed to the fainthearted. Intimacy is not meant for cowards and fools who are afraid of fire. Utopia is that ferocious, burning force that tenderly invites me to keep on seeking it; the homeland of that breed of dreamers, who know how to surrender to intimacy and how to belong to the fire. The path to it glowed imposingly the moment I allowed this fire to devour me. I surrendered.
So, now I know that this kind of intimacy lives somewhere within this world and is what makes Utopia seem so tangible. Once truly fathomed is then the only one obtained nearly effortlessly; undeniably magnificently. Like if the night's put a fierce, everlasting spell on it: “Fire! Fire.”